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Post by bossanova on Mar 11, 2023 18:35:20 GMT -6
I’ve decided to give up 90% or so of my musical pursuits. I’ve been low-key plugging away since I was 13 or so, and I’ve done all the things you would expect to do at the local level. Released an album, played gigs in bands, went to music school, taught full time, released some solo singles here and there, freelance engineered and mixed recordings, composed music on commission for some different outlets, studied or taught myself every step of the audio production and recording process from start to finish, and even made an anonymous series of spoken word recordings that lasted for three or four years and somehow ended up being by far my most popular and profitable work. I’ve also bought maybe…$4-5k? of gear and software in the last 10 years. Not much by the standards of the heavyweights here, but still a chunk of change in my world.
Well, I’m in my late 30s and I think I’ve had it. I have physical issues that have slowly reduced my ability to sing and play keyboard over the years, which have made me into a much “smarter” singer and player but have really cut into what I can do and reduced my gigging to nil. Burnout and imposter syndrome and GAS have eaten into much of the fundamental enjoyment that I used to get from making music. The happiness to heartache/frustration ratio has been heavily skewed towards the latter for quite some time now.
I was in a similar place 10 years ago. When a family friend found out they said it would be a terrible waste of my musical gifts if I gave it up, so I doubled down and kept slugging it out for another 10 years, and arguably had my biggest successes during that period. Now I feel like I’m really done.
I don’t have a conclusion here. I don’t know what I’m going to do next but I’m not in danger of starving or anything like that. I have a family and I’ve gotten to become a parent in the last few years which has been amazing. I *am* coming to grips with having wanted to be a professional musician since I was 13 or so, and now not really knowing what my life looks like if that isn’t the top billed thing about me anymore.
Has anyone else been down this road?
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Post by geoff738 on Mar 11, 2023 20:01:09 GMT -6
Kind of.
First off, I’m sorry that you’ve come to this conclusion. I certainly can’t tell you what you should be doing, however. It is certainly a very personal decision and it sounds like you have given this a lot of thought.
I would just say that being a parent can take pretty much all of your free time and energy. For many years. When my kid was young all of my musical pursuits fell by the wayside. Wouldn’t change it for the world. Then divorce, depression, and moving into spaces that were not good for recording have had me basically not record much of anything for the last seven years or so. I’m only now getting thé itch to get my recording rig back up and running, crap room be damned. Playing some guitar. Going to shows. Etc.
All of which to say, I wish you well in your journey. But I hope you will at least consider the possibility that this may just be a pause. Or that your relationship with music may change, and that’s ok.
Cheers,
Geoff
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Post by Tbone81 on Mar 12, 2023 8:11:18 GMT -6
About 10 years ago I found myself hating music. I had been doing live sound for too long and was tired of working a thankless job, babysitting drunks etc. The production work I had was mostly shitty gigs I hated, just to chase a paycheck. It was a race to the bottom. I found myself hating music. I stepped back a little, went back to school and got a job that could afford me the opportunity to support a family. I work in healthcare now. I still work professionally in music, part time. Being able to turn down gigs, and only work on what I wanted, was a huge blessing. The amount of money I make per project has increased quite a bit, and I'm more successful at music now than I've ever been. I'm preparing to work part time in Healthcare come 2024 as my music work is really picking up.
Music is rough. For me, having a way out allowed me to get back in, even though I never really left. We all have different paths. There's no one way to do it. My only advice would be to find what you love about it, and find a way to keep doing that. Even if you have to step away to do it.
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Post by thehightenor on Mar 13, 2023 8:39:00 GMT -6
I’ve decided to give up 90% or so of my musical pursuits. I’ve been low-key plugging away since I was 13 or so, and I’ve done all the things you would expect to do at the local level. Released an album, played gigs in bands, went to music school, taught full time, released some solo singles here and there, freelance engineered and mixed recordings, composed music on commission for some different outlets, studied or taught myself every step of the audio production and recording process from start to finish, and even made an anonymous series of spoken word recordings that lasted for three or four years and somehow ended up being by far my most popular and profitable work. I’ve also bought maybe…$4-5k? of gear and software in the last 10 years. Not much by the standards of the heavyweights here, but still a chunk of change in my world. Well, I’m in my late 30s and I think I’ve had it. I have physical issues that have slowly reduced my ability to sing and play keyboard over the years, which have made me into a much “smarter” singer and player but have really cut into what I can do and reduced my gigging to nil. Burnout and imposter syndrome and GAS have eaten into much of the fundamental enjoyment that I used to get from making music. The happiness to heartache/frustration ratio has been heavily skewed towards the latter for quite some time now. I was in a similar place 10 years ago. When a family friend found out they said it would be a terrible waste of my musical gifts if I gave it up, so I doubled down and kept slugging it out for another 10 years, and arguably had my biggest successes during that period. Now I feel like I’m really done. I don’t have a conclusion here. I don’t know what I’m going to do next but I’m not in danger of starving or anything like that. I have a family and I’ve gotten to become a parent in the last few years which has been amazing. I *am* coming to grips with having wanted to be a professional musician since I was 13 or so, and now not really knowing what my life looks like if that isn’t the top billed thing about me anymore. Has anyone else been down this road? I'm turning 60 in October. I turned professional musician at 18 and I'm still going strong. Singing, playing writing and recording - gigging with a band - gigging solo and teaching too. Yes I had the dream of becoming a mega rich "superstar" at one time but I got lucky and it never happened :-) Instead I met the girl of my dreams and 25 years later we're still in love and happily married with two kids (18 and 21) Making music and being a musician is a heck of a lot cheaper than therapy and it keeps you young and vital. I'll be writing songs and playing them to an audience when I'm 96, if I'm lucky. Being creative is everything to me - I have to do it. I feel sure reading your post - deep down you feel the same, you can't up something that has chosen you :-) |
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Post by christopher on Mar 13, 2023 12:19:01 GMT -6
It’s very good to walk away and clear the mind sometimes.., the idea there is some financial return in this biz kind of backfires into toxic vibes for me. I’m learning that it’s the music /therapy relation that is the real value. I like to play with absolutely great sounds sometimes, it clears my head. Im editing this to remove some details, basically mean to say the endless hunt of getting exactly what you want, no compromise, can improve a person’s mental state and make the struggle of life more tolerable coming home to total satisfaction in certain areas. Maybe I’m a bad influence, but I argue hey worst case it will have some sort of value on Craigslist or a garage sale.
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Post by EmRR on Mar 13, 2023 12:55:14 GMT -6
I've been down the road of letting my business drift, just taking the calls, and those all turned into corporate audio for a long time with diminishing music work. It was interesting/enlightening/uplifiting to be away from crazy people and deal with humans making firm calls on expected time tables for awhile, that was the first time in my life I'd ever experienced 'sane' humans, if you want to call it that. Ya know, people who do what they say they're gonna do, without any existential angst. But too much of that is boring too.
I didn't think I'd ever quit playing music, but I have several times now due to various band tragedies that were just too hard to take in the short term.
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Post by svart on Mar 14, 2023 14:28:04 GMT -6
Yep. I think anyone who takes it seriously ends up burning out at some point. Some pick it back up, some do not. My first burnout was in bands in the mid 90's. Nothing really ever took shape the way I wanted it to. I focused more on doing the technical stuff like recording instead. It kept me near the music and in the studio, but overall I didn't have to be IN a band.
The second one happened after I moved a few times and opened up the studio again about 15 years ago. I just couldn't seem to produce anything worth listening to, either talent-wise or technically on-par with my peers. It definitely took some soul searching to figure out that I'd just take it as it came rather than try so hard to be something I couldn't commit 100% to, but also couldn't see myself giving up.
Now, a good friend of mine has been in successful bands, recorded 20 albums and been on a dozen tours all around the USA. He finally had enough of it about 5 years ago and he put down his guitar with the intention of never picking it back up again.
5 years later he's talking about feeling the itch to at least see what comes of a few writing sessions. I've offered to help him write and record and even play some of the instruments with him, which is something I've not done for anyone in a decade or more now either.
I think a hiatus or sabbatical away from it all is a good thing for the soul. Sometimes you just get too close to it and the frustration is really the part that destroys the love for it. Taking enough time away can let you forget that frustration.
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Post by kcatthedog on Mar 14, 2023 16:36:00 GMT -6
Do what feels right to you now: music will always be there for you, in whatever form you choose to experience it: life is short, best to enjoy the ride !
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Post by gwlee7 on Mar 14, 2023 21:22:14 GMT -6
You will find a creative outlet one way or another. It’s what creative people do. Like kcatt said, make yourself happy.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2023 11:26:14 GMT -6
Has anyone else been down this road? Yeah, pretty much same as you. Physical issues which lead to other issues, utter indifference towards something I've loved for decades, spending more on equipment than doing and I have often questioned what's the point? Besides from my guitar playing going to crap I'm better at songwriting, singing, engineering etc. than I have ever been but the problem is I don't really care.
Although once in a blue moon I can't get songs out of my head, I want to just record and have fun. Maybe you're not at that point yet but my studio is there whenever I want it, IMO the biggest mistake you could do is sell up completely. It might be three, six months, a year or maybe five? But if you really are a true music nut you will never escape it unfortunately.
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Post by Tbone81 on Mar 15, 2023 12:04:36 GMT -6
Has anyone else been down this road? But if you really are a true music nut you will never escape it unfortunately. And therein lies the rub. I couldn't escape this game if I tried... However, in the past I've had ruts where I wasn't working on any music and I quenched the thirst by jumping into photography, building shelving in the garage, renovating a bathroom etc etc. Turns out, more than making music, my drive is to "make stuff". I just need to be creative, and always be building something. I'm most passionate about "building" songs, but everything works to some degree. I feel like that's true for most all creatives. But eventually I start dying on the inside, a little every day, until I get back on saddle and start "building" songs again. YMMV |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2023 12:20:54 GMT -6
But if you really are a true music nut you will never escape it unfortunately. But eventually I start dying on the inside, a little every day, until I get back on saddle and start "building" songs again. YMMV Right there with you brother. |
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Post by voliviavv on Mar 15, 2023 13:49:40 GMT -6
My dad stopped writing music because he says he doesn't have the strength for it at his age. He started having problems with his back and the doctor recommended drinking vitamins from www.canadapharmacy.com/ and doing sports. So, we do exercises together every evening and go for walks very often. He loves music but doesn't want to go back to recording it |
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Post by chessparov on Mar 15, 2023 18:08:28 GMT -6
Sorry to hear that. FWIW my life's Journey since my close call (to say the least) in May, is like a mini-Spinoff of "It's A Wonderful Life". Guess it's time for "Follow Your Bliss".  Maybe including creating new material. Songs, Stories, Sculptures made from chain saws, etc. Chtis |
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Post by tkaitkai on Mar 16, 2023 6:47:48 GMT -6
Don't quit.
Take time off if you have to. Change up your approach. But don't quit.
Write bullshit songs that have no purpose other than personal fulfillment. Produce/record/mix/master as much as you care to, and if you never finish it, so be it. Move on to something more exciting.
Or, if that's already something you struggle with, force yourself to commit to a goal/deadline. And just do it, no excuses. Even if the end result isn't perfect. Some of my best stuff was made under insane pressure/deadlines where I was freaking out about the warts and blemishes. Looking at that stuff now, I wouldn't change a thing.
Get rid of all the sucky things that are making you resent music. Don't like a certain genre? Stop producing it. Got a client you hate? Stop working with them. Be selfish and take a period where you only work on things that feel good to you. And when they stop feeling good, stop working on them. Trust your instincts.
I realize this is all easier said than done. I definitely don't want to be insensitive to your physical condition, either — I'm a health and fitness nut, and I definitely think it's paramount to be mindful of your health.
But please, don't quit. Even if it's just trying out a new amp sim once a week or playing around with iMaschine or something. If you have music in you, keep doing it in some capacity.
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Post by Ward on Mar 16, 2023 11:22:44 GMT -6
Taking a break, every so often, is advisable for ALL of us!
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Post by bossanova on Mar 16, 2023 22:04:14 GMT -6
Hey thank you everyone for the responses. They’ve given me a lot to think about. 🙏 I’m not selling my gear anytime soon  . I still love playing, and my wife writes and produces music for fun as well and likes having the toys on hand for potential use down the line. I’ve been jamming solo off and on for the past few days with zero goals or intent to record or shape anything. It’s been nice. I still really like dialing in a tone on Amplitube or a patch on my Hydrasynth until it sounds just like a want it and then improvising with it for a while. (To be continued) |
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Post by Johnkenn on Mar 23, 2023 23:58:32 GMT -6
My dad stopped writing music because he says he doesn't have the strength for it at his age. He started having problems with his back and the doctor recommended drinking vitamins from www.canadapharmacy.com/ and doing sports. So, we do exercises together every evening and go for walks very often. He loves music but doesn't want to go back to recording it This dude had 19 posts. All about different drugs he was pushing. Gotta admit…this was a really good spambot. Banned. |
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Post by Johnkenn on Mar 24, 2023 0:00:41 GMT -6
Hey thank you everyone for the responses. They’ve given me a lot to think about. 🙏 I’m not selling my gear anytime soon . I still love playing, and my wife writes and produces music for fun as well and likes having the toys on hand for potential use down the line. I’ve been jamming solo off and on for the past few days with zero goals or intent to record or shape anything. It’s been nice. I still really like dialing in a tone on Amplitube or a patch on my Hydrasynth until it sounds just like a want it and then improvising with it for a while. (To be continued) You’re not alone. I struggle with the “wtf have I done with my life” thing all the time. |
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Post by gwlee7 on Mar 24, 2023 16:57:28 GMT -6
My dad stopped writing music because he says he doesn't have the strength for it at his age. He started having problems with his back and the doctor recommended drinking vitamins from www.canadapharmacy.com/ and doing sports. So, we do exercises together every evening and go for walks very often. He loves music but doesn't want to go back to recording it This dude had 19 posts. All about different drugs he was pushing. Gotta admit…this was a really good spambot. Banned. The way the tech is advancing, some AI chatbot will join and win poster of the year. |
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Post by Ward on Mar 25, 2023 10:22:48 GMT -6
This dude had 19 posts. All about different drugs he was pushing. Gotta admit…this was a really good spambot. Banned. The way the tech is advancing, some AI chatbot will join and win poster of the year. along with all the grammies and platinum records too |
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Post by Johnkenn on Apr 7, 2023 20:57:57 GMT -6
You wonder if that WAS a bot? Now that I think of it, I bet anything that it was.
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Post by thehightenor on Apr 9, 2023 10:25:57 GMT -6
Hey thank you everyone for the responses. They’ve given me a lot to think about. 🙏 I’m not selling my gear anytime soon . I still love playing, and my wife writes and produces music for fun as well and likes having the toys on hand for potential use down the line. I’ve been jamming solo off and on for the past few days with zero goals or intent to record or shape anything. It’s been nice. I still really like dialing in a tone on Amplitube or a patch on my Hydrasynth until it sounds just like a want it and then improvising with it for a while. (To be continued) You’re not alone. I struggle with the “wtf have I done with my life” thing all the time. I was recently reading an interview with the now retired Phil Collins and he was saying exactly the same thing. Which I found a bit disturbing as I had always imagined I wanted to spend my life doing what he had done. But looking at how his life has ended up and where I'm at with my life, I suddenly realised I wouldn't trade places! I've done lot's of work for multimillionaires over the years and had some say to me “wtf have I done with my life” .... I always reply "you become a multimillionaire" and they always come back with "yeah true .... but wtf have I done with my life” That definitely left me something to think about. I have taught myself to break free of the feeling I'm stood at a bus stop waiting for a bus to come along, and learnt to live in the moment. When I live truly in the moment I don't get the “wtf have I done with my life” feeling. |
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. I still love playing, and my wife writes and produces music for fun as well and likes having the toys on hand for potential use down the line.
